OBMUD.

I wonder y u must treat me this way.. its not tt I really want u.. Its tt I must have u.. but hu noes I might get u one day? 11 year and one day.. seems long.. may be longer.. but its not really worth it.. is it? Our innocence may be in a way to make our relationship further if we are together.. but I wanna let u go.. I cant! I really cant do it.. I mean.. I want to.. but I cant.. u make me be in a mess whether to continue anot.. I mean.. hu wud want to give up after such a long long time of waiting? I mean.. hais.. I dunno wat to say.. I really love u.. but I dun really see us together.. I mean.. not toking.. not going out.. not doing anything but just communicate in a distant manner.. which relationship will ever go to the stage of marrying without any physical contact? Haiss.. I really dunno wat to say.. shud I wait? Or shud I just try to let go.. im like afraid of letting all my friend down.. but I noe tt’s not important.. and ya.. I think I shud give up.. there are many guys out there.. I mean.. gosh.. but I still cant let u go.. 2 more years cud be worth it.. but it may not too.. as we will still be not toking to each other.. yaya.. u may think im like so in to this just for the sake of it.. I may sound childish if I say these.. but I really mean it.. haiss.. expressing myself here is great.. I’ll just save this whole damn thing.. and name it “my feelings”.. I wonder y cant u just try it out with me first.. i mean.. wud u ever be loyal next time if u are with me? Y not try it out and just feel wat is it like? I really wudnt mind to be ur try-out.. I mean.. it’s a way of letting u learn also.. and a way to make u be better with girls.. but since I mean.. if we HAD a chance to be together.. wells… kiesha and ben’s together.. im happy for them.. REALLY! But hmms.. we are close friends.. they are close friends.. but in a different way.. we are close friends in the smsworld.. they are close friends in the real world.. toking to each other like wat close friends are supposed to do.. I really wonder y I liked u at the beginning.. my fault? I really hope it was just a mistake for me to realize.. but I noe it’s not a mistake.. or maybe It is.. like I want it to be.. I really want to be with u.. but ya.. guess its not going to happen.. even if it does.. we will only go to the extent to so call “marry” in the sms world.. sad? Yes.. sad.. very sad.. oh wells.. now the prob is.. wait? Or dun wait.. I mean.. I really dun noe wat to do.. since u say it like I cant be with u forever.. wat for wait.. haisssss……………… now kiesha’s together with Benjamin.. im happy for them.. u are happy for them too.. and ur excuse for not accepting me now is cause u THINK we are too young.. u THINK it will affect our studies.. and u THINK it will hurt me.. firstly.. I wud like to say tt nth will hurt me more other than u not accepting me.. and with u.. maybe I will do better in my studies.. and thirdly.. I dare to take the challenge of having a relationship.. I may be childish.. but tt particular relationship may help me mature.. but there are exceptions.. and im ready for it.. but since ur not.. I shant blame u.. I didn’t wanna tell u those things cause I was afraid u were thinking im desperate.. which I really am.. desperate of getting u.. not desperate of getting guys.. you! Y-o-u.. I really mean it.. oh wells. Typing these in Microsoft words.. so darn fun.. just late in the sleepless nights.. guess I really have to give up—reluctantly.. but if u wanna have me loving u back.. I will.. but tt’s if u really mean it.. and its also when u really love me.. and to add on.. its if u even tot of doing tt..

Me=hurt

^^^
this was sth i wrote quite a long time ago. just like to post it up.. so ya.. quite a nice entry tho!