Saturday, March 17, 2007
why not?
i really wish i cud write a happy blogpost. but i really cant. blogging is the only way i can calm myself. i am, alone, at home, again. can they stop leaving me at home all the time? i noe they have to work. but dun they see tt im in need of sth called attention? it has came to a point where i will be dead at home and no one will realise. i cry for fucking no reason everytime im alone, u dunno about tt because... u werent even at home. i throw my pens around when im doing my work and slap my head wishing i was cleverer. i tok to myself now and then, hoping i cud be my own bestfriend. i look at our fishes and try to resemble every one of them as my friends. im one hu is problematic, its just tt i dun want u all to be worried for me again. i wud have loved to kill teachers, but i was afraid i wud have to leave u all for a long time if i really do so. well, u didnt kill any of my/your teachers, so y are all of u leaving me alone?
this is totally suckish. i was asleep, until my sister asked me whether she cud go out. i said ya. can i say no? i'll probably be another pain in the butt for many more ppl if i did so. i've given my full tolerance for u all. and i think the space "tolerance" is gonna be filled up soon. (daryl) it is not tt i dun want to give in. it is tt i have already given enough. i realised tt it is really wrong to keep everything inside u. i did tt for the past 15+ years and only ended up with more pimples and bad-hair days. and i cant take it anymore. ppl are taking advantage of me because im the good girl. dun be suprised if i happen to be on the newspapers one day because i killed someone. i cant kill myself, so im out killing ppl.
dun think im ur good girl. and dun think tt sister is muchmuch worse than me. im not any better mentally. infact i have much more mental problem than her. u cant blame me for my depression, as i didnt mind sharing urs. i think i have to start stealing ur pills and make my own liver fail sloooowwwwly.
i'd most probably be stoning my way thinking of hw as i eat my cup noodles. it is alr the 2nd last day of my hols. everything is going so slowly except the time i have left to do my hw. the worst thing is, it wudnt feel the same, now tt i cant ask yuhua whether she's done her work already. but bleah, yuhua, have u done ur work? (:
this is totally suckish. i was asleep, until my sister asked me whether she cud go out. i said ya. can i say no? i'll probably be another pain in the butt for many more ppl if i did so. i've given my full tolerance for u all. and i think the space "tolerance" is gonna be filled up soon. (daryl) it is not tt i dun want to give in. it is tt i have already given enough. i realised tt it is really wrong to keep everything inside u. i did tt for the past 15+ years and only ended up with more pimples and bad-hair days. and i cant take it anymore. ppl are taking advantage of me because im the good girl. dun be suprised if i happen to be on the newspapers one day because i killed someone. i cant kill myself, so im out killing ppl.
dun think im ur good girl. and dun think tt sister is muchmuch worse than me. im not any better mentally. infact i have much more mental problem than her. u cant blame me for my depression, as i didnt mind sharing urs. i think i have to start stealing ur pills and make my own liver fail sloooowwwwly.
i'd most probably be stoning my way thinking of hw as i eat my cup noodles. it is alr the 2nd last day of my hols. everything is going so slowly except the time i have left to do my hw. the worst thing is, it wudnt feel the same, now tt i cant ask yuhua whether she's done her work already. but bleah, yuhua, have u done ur work? (:
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