OBMUD.

there's so much noise everywhere now. ppl blowing whistles. it isn't new year yet! darn them...

all i yearn for now is just the freedom to party and go out late in the night. but bleah, im not the age yet. so, i've made things i wanna accomplish for the next year (aka, new year resolutions), as its more realistic. ya whatever, here goes...

• get over my nerdy hair.
• try to get along with friends better.
• not to talk so much in class, or in any other places. (i'll just shut up)
• try not to be distracted by anything. (ie: long hair/korea guys)
• get my familt back together. (possible?)
• get all the basics of my every subject right b4 Feb.
• stop daydreaming so much.
• try not to spend so much money.
• smile more, laugh more. =)))))))))))))
• being able to party crazy-ly after o's.
• and of course, do well (or rather superbly) for my o's.

yup, tt's about all.

have you got YOUR resolutions yet?

im f-ed up with everything la ok. its always my duty to pass messages around. as if you all dun have hands to just pick up the darn phone and dial 8 numbers by urself. this is dumb ok. i reallyreally hate being the family's messenger.

i want all these to end.

to linghui:
thankyou for giving me $24.95. without u im bag-less.
thankyou for eating dinner with me.
thankyou for making my dream come true. =)

whoooo, i had fun today at the library. err. other than tt i really have nth to say. haha, the truth is. i dun have the mood to type anymore. HAH. ok. bye!

whooooooooooo~ it was a hothothot day today out with linghui, kwangyong, bjorn & linying. haha, yep. altho i was wearing a jacket almost half the day... haha. anyways, yea. good day! just tt my mum had to come to pizza hut to settle the outstanding bill we had. haha, it was $73.60! damnit. i really feel happy for those ppl hu didnt came today. if not 26/12/06 will be their funniest/most memorable day. -.-

anyways, just wanna state tt we had fun... i guess? haha. well, to bjorn, HI! reallyreally, good luck. haha.

its xmas time again! just wishing all a merrymerry xmas!

anyways, going out with linghui, bjornie, linying, fuhui... and manymany more ppl tmr. yep, guess i didnt get wat i want for xmas. but its okay, there's still many more xmas for me to live for. unless i die b4 24th dec next year. *choy!*

ok hmmm, im kinda pissed now cause my mum keep coming near wat im typing now. and i HATEHATEHATEHATEHATE ppl doing tt. but its xmas. so i force myself to be exceptionally forgiving. yes. thank God.

well, hope i dun die tmr. im being so negative these few days. i really dunno y. life is short ppl, live it. =)

haha, hi peeps. u must be thinking tt im very siao. YES, i am very siao. cause i keep changing blogskins. realise this skin is sososososo much better than the previous one? haha, yeah. i am improving!

anyways, gotta prepare for the masquerade night later. ohoh! and thankyou ll for giving me a candycane for xmas! hahaha, im so lucky. and also thankyou jasmine for giving me a card (oh man, i haven opened it yet). and thanks EVERYBODY for staying alive this xmas. bwahaaaaa, health rocks. speaking of health, i better lose weight quick. -.-

okies, gotta bathe and put on my ooh-la-la dress! BYEEEEE~
have a merrymerrymerrymerry xmas!

okays, now its even COOLER. me spinning a lightstick in the dark- in the bus after the concert. ENJOY.

(video taken by linghui. THANKS!)

haha, YAY. im (kinda) finished my first ever blogskin! its really a great feeling. i noe its not nice but... i really love it. now i noe y other blogskinners think their work are so wonderful yet get their works rated really bad. haha. well, there's still a little bit more to do but i really dunno how to. anyways, thanks daphne for lending me the photoshop disc for a start, and also for the tips u gave me in the conference hall. (eg, "u have to trytry one wat.") haha, THANKS.

anyways, yesterday's concert went well. at least the squillions of mistakes i committed couldnt be heard. haha. and yeah! we got our section shirt alr. it was just plain saxy. well, it was a tiring day-- that i slept until 2pm today. (actually i was just plain lazy. and yes, to mr ahmad, i brought ur benjamin home safely and soundly. OOOOH, i love him! as in, mr ahmad. haha.

well, this is my FIRST post in my FIRST blogskin ever produced by me. YAY! raeyi WANSUI.

tt's like ME spinning my pen lar. ^^

y must ppl have different personalities? y cant everybody be like everybody? gosh... i dun mind having a boring life. but i really mind living with those weird ppl. AH. esp ppl like yoJhurt. YES.

well, nth much happened in band today. just tt fuhui keep insisting me to go for the SL/commitee member meeting thingy. PLEASE. i am not the SL. ahhhh, yeah. daphne didnt go cause she had to go thomson plaza (daphne, FUNNY). HAHA. ya. i mean i dun blame anyone la. just tt it'll be too thick-skinned for me to join the meeting though. cause i really dunno hu wants to play 1st, 2nd... BLEAHHHH. yes.

hmms, yeah. after band it was kinda cool. my mother prevented 2 cats from fighting. cause they were like... staring at each other. so my COOL mum stomped her foot to scare the cat away. :DDD i love my mummy.

other than all those, nth much happened. i dun want anything more to happen either. well, just wanna say good luck to all the band members for friday! errr yea, good luck to me too. =)))

i really wonder y the heaven yuhua wrote this in her blog. like WTH? are angels believing in buddhism or wat? haha... but anyways, here's wat she wrote. 0xD

heh? 0:SSS

im sorry for playing wrong notes in band,
im sorry for playing loud at wrong times,
im sorry that my tongue lost control (making me tongue so loudly T.T)

but u ppl dun have to look at me like i MEANT to do those above things rite? all thanks to u i've no confidence to play anymore. infact i always play wrong notes nowadays. BLEAHS.

WOW, im learning html. (but i mean it though...)
HEH~ try reading backwards! ^^

i fucking missed band for nth. and i dun feel like going for tuition later oso. wat has my family become? i really cant do anything being the youngest, and i dun really want to do anything oso. i rather my parents just get a divorce and everything will be peaceful. they never tought of us. did they? wat for torture us just because u wanna save 'face'. is 'face' tt impt? pls, i dunno how much 'face' me and jie lost because of u 2. and we dun really grumble alot. infact we always kept quiet as we really dunno how to handle 2 of the unreasonable YOU.
i mean, if its really so hard being parents, y not just disown us? i really DUN MIND. everybody's not happy with everybody staying together. so y not? not as if there's any use of staying together now. oh ya, there is, to vent ur anger on anybody, and to empty excess water (tears) u have in there. yea, and nth else. i nv really laughed or even smile when my whole family's around at home. other than those times i went crazy and laughed at my own jokes in my own room. tt's y i always say i rather have a broken family than one hu quarrels non-stop everyday. i dun mind having divorced parents. i just want to be happy. YOU just dun get it. forget it, i dun wanna say anything anymore. i just want to yeah... "jump off this building."

korean's bodybuilding team. xD

(i don't mean this type T.T)



(i mean this type xD)

haha, u all must be like... DOTDOTDOT la. haha. anyways, i am this "aunty". just found out tt rain shi shuai de lor! just look at his long hair. *saliva dripping* haha! ok. im just bored. pls forgive me. 0=)

have u ever considered how am i supposed to get good grades with so many family problems to worry about? i noe u dun mean to hurt me, but im telling u i dun mean to get bad results too. as all of my teachers mentioned during the panel meeting, im just a coward who doesnt dare to voice out opinions. but only noes how to write them all out. i guess this is how i improve my writing. there're so many things i want to discuss with u, but i just cant make myself to talk to u as a friend. because of past experiences i had, i've developed a fear of being rejected, which nobody noes of yet. its not tt i dun have the confidence. its just tt i noe wat's best for everyone, and im not tt. but there's also no doubt i was born lazy, always thinking of fun and games. but the restriction u give me towards games make me think about them even more. im already trying my best not to think about games. but everytime i being to succeed, u have to mention about the past. and again, i dun say anything. although u never said this out, i noe u and everyone else always tot tt Rachel was the capable one and tt im only the good girl hu listens to whatever u say, but isnt exactly smart. well, tt is very true. but these little things like asking Rachel for help instead of me piled up to form wat u call-- my lack of confidence.

its really quite sad when u realise i actually like being in school studying more than i like staying at home. there are many more friends to talk to, friends hu noe more of my troubles than u do. honestly, i feel much, much more confident with them than being with u. i really wish i can have the courage to talk to u like a friend one day.

u asked me if i could see tt u are depressed. let me ask u this, do I look depressed to u? i've been wearing this mask for these 4 years since i was p5. and i cant make myself to take it off, as it wud worsen every situation we're in now.

well, christmas is coming! all i wish for this year, is the understanding of both u and papa to say the three simple words to each other-- i love you.

-raeyi

many things happened today but im not really keen to type them all out nicely. HAH. so yeah. point form. x)))

• went to sch thinking i was late.
• i wasnt.
• had sects.
• stole some o'lvl papers for revision next year.
• found lingli's geog qn paper and took it home.
• lingli passed me her notes and skirt.
• I COULD FIT INTO THE SKIRT!
• mr tan tought us howta play BOLERO.
• found tt it wasnt so bad after all.
• finally got a PUNY gold cloth (not tt i wanted a puny one -.-)
• went to buy books and pe shirt.
• waited for my mum to arrive for the MONEY.
• went home.
• slept.
• woke up and started to clear my room.
• IM SO PROUD OF IT.
• found out tt linghui tot my mum was COOL and SLIM. =)
• (i'm her daughter wat. ^^)
• mum had small grp in my house.
• had fun? yeah...

tt's about all of today. going out with linghui to buy materials for the posters tmr! WOW. we are the ICs of posters k. without us, there will be no flyers for next year's sec1 orientation. HAHA. we rock la. xDDDDD

oh yeah. to the fucking idiot named maa han lun better shuddup about me creating the 1As friendster. its alr so long alr la. so lag still blame me for calling u teacher's pet. U ARE WAT. tok so much. tok to ppl oso dun look at ppl. wat shit. high post in st john for wat? no manners be wat shit? u are the DUMBEST horse ever. BLAAAAA~

3 cheers for daffy for being the next sax sectional leader! =) my dream came true lar. as in, daph is the CORRECT CHOICE! her studies, playing, conduct are all very good la! so she's the ONLY choice. haha. well, no matter hu is the SL, all tt matters is tt we do well for our concert and SYF next year! haha, i told u guys i wun be the SL alr. all dun believe me. i mean its like... even if i were to be SL, i wud gladly give my post to daph. =))) so i wish daph all the best in leading our section! DAPH HUATs!

ooh, HELLO. it was fun yesterday at the exchange in bedok green. haha, real f-u-n. anyways, the perf wasnt so bad as i tot it wud be. haha, YAY. we were infact good la. =)
hmmm, i have nth to say actually, just wanna annouce tt... i finished my chinese hw! hahaha. YES!

oh yeah, to bjorn, u owe me $10 for pressing the bell in the bus, and $20 for it. so, $10+$20= $30.

xDDDDD.

gosh, i haven been really blogging lately. cause im like darn stressed out about everything around. band, family, friends... many things. im just tired of thinking about so many things. i wanna use a spoon so scrap my brain off. AH.
i was looking through my posts again the other day. i was reallyreally DUMB to have written so much useless shit and wasting time straining my finger muscles. yeah... useless shit=love.
not gonna say much things about love, as it is really a veryvery weird thing. just realised yesterday tt it can be very unexpected too. AH, cant say so much here. wells, i'll just have to keep my mouth shut as i dun like ppl hu craps alot about useless shit. so i shant be one of them too. BLEAHs.
shit, just rmbed i have tuition later. AH. and ll's not going. so i'll be alone, again. oh well, wat to do. im always alone. (:

its really simple, i just want u.